Matt’s Smut Vault Vol 2: Breaking Rules

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Breaking Rules: A Billionaire & Virgin Romance

By: Mia Ford

Here at the ol’ Smut Vault, we love a good bargain. When purchasing adult literature, it’s always better to do so in bulk. Thankfully, most of today’s leading erotica authors do right by us in that regard. When not reading borderline illegal smut printed in the 20th century, most of my erotica perusal these days takes place through the screen of an Amazon Kindle. At $3.99 a pop, it can be risky to pick a random book without knowing for sure if it’s going to be any of the following: hot, offensive, or just outright insulting to your intelligence.

Enter then, the concept of the “Bonus Book.” With your standard smut purchase you typically receive two or three bonus novels, that may or may not be related to your original book. While Mae West said that too much of a good thing is WONDERFUL, has anyone ever made the effort to actually read one of these bonus entries? What does it say about the quality of an erotic work when it’s tacked on at the end for free? To answer this, the Smut Vault decided to give one of these freebies a try, and find out what keeps a discount story like this from making the big time.

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Breaking Rules: A Billionaire & Virgin Romance by Mia Ford is a somewhat clumsy attempt to cash in on the Fifty Shades of Grey boom, or at least that’s what the cover and title are attempting to tell us. Vienna, a pretty and (of course) curvy Harvard graduate has moved back from the east coast to her native California to move back in with her father. Waiting for her as well is dad’s best friend, the remarkably handsome and mature lawyer named Payne. Sure Payne drives a Range Rover and has a successful law practice, but I’m struggling to see how the “billionaire” adjective comes into play. Not to worry though, the virgin angle is still very much alive. Vie (yes they fucking call her that) was never impressed with the mere “boys” she encountered in Cambridge, and never could quite get the daddy goals of Payne out of her mind. While accepting a job as Payne’s personal assistant, her days entail a building sexual tension, released each night with a ritualistic masturbation to the tune of Payne’s words and glances.

It’s becoming more apparent these days that female leads in erotic lit can no longer simply be an “old soul” that desire a more mature partner. No, Vienna must be an aching, lusty mass of submissive trash that only wants to save her v-card for the ACCEPTABLE version of her father. Payne is someone that’s been a friend of the family for her entire life, and in some ways may have been an additional father figure after Vienna’s mother left when she was a child. Inevitably, Vienna and Payne can no longer contain themselves and they commence to screwin.’ Vienna’s first time is special, as is her second, third and 450th journey into the Bone Zone. To the author’s credit, the sex is written comfortably, and without the backstory I’m sure Mia Ford could be a brilliant porno director. After all, in porn, you don’t need to worry about a man’s internal conflict coming out like this…

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Ms. Ford if you’re reading, I know a few aspiring animators that might like a crack at this.

Mia Ford is one of the more accomplished authors I’ve covered in my time as an erotica correspondent/critic, and maybe that means I had higher expectations than reasonable. I want to point out more about the problems with this story. Normally I’d want to dissect the “Chekhov’s gun” of their lack of birth control, or how all parties involved are worried about what Vie’s daddy might think.

However, a deep dive into the shortcomings of this book would be unfair. This IS a bonus book after all, and our quest today was to find out the difference between this and a primary entry. It’s very clear that this was a very rough draft that couldn’t quite find the polish for a full release, and we have to accept that not every idea is going to pan out into greasy, smutty gold.

That being said, the Smut Vault will attempt to learn more about these bonus novels, and see if we can find a pattern. Are these stories written to purposefully act as filler for their “main event” novels? Will we find authors taking more chances to expand their own horizons in the adult fiction landscape? Will there be more proverbial cocks on male lead’s shoulders? Find out next time on Matt’s Smut Vault!

Follow Matt on Twitter as he tries to find a freelance animator with a dark sense of humor

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