The holiday season of 2018 has been one of the most rewarding for yours truly, as it’s been a blast sharing and reviewing holiday themed smut for both Thanksgiving and Christmas. Sliding into 2019, we were lucky enough to get our hands on “A Delightful New Year” written by Rich “Dick” Rubin, which is currently available for pre-order. As one last hurrah for 2018,
let’s probe the final festive occasion before our collective balls drop, New Years.
A Delightful New Year is a sequel to, oddly enough, another Thanksgiving themed erotica, “Thanksgiving Delight” released back in 2016. To its credit, A Delightful New Year supplies a brief summary of the previous antics that took place between our married main characters of Chris and Brenda, as well as her little sister Donna. You see, Turkey Day was one hell of an experience for this family. The long and short of it: Donna lost her virginity…to her sister’s husband…in front of her sister, with everyone’s approval. Not only was it approved, but the upcoming New Year’s weekend is expected to produce more of the same, as Donna is coming over to ring in the new year in style…
For a nice change of pace, this novel never attempted to cash in on the fad of nerdy pop culture references that plagued our two previous holiday reviews. This time, the background of the group’s social calendar is actually set around the Indianapolis Colts NFL schedule, with the broadcast of a big late season Saturday game set as the meeting point for all the main characters. You might think that this sort of device would set the tone to read like it was definitively written by a man…and you’d be right. Delightful New Year expresses itself perhaps unintentionally as “by men for men” in tone. To my mind this is an under-served demographic in erotica, as there’s a lot of unfortunate presumption that this sort of thing isn’t enjoyed by the fellas. For tone, this works pretty well. For the sexual aspect of the story? Well…….let’s unpack this.
Sexual activity is never-not-present on the minds of every single character over the course of this reasonably short novel. Most all of the dirty stuff is centered around Chris’ wife, Brenda. While she’s clearly very passionate, Brenda doesn’t display many qualities I’d look for in a wife, or girlfriend, or even as a late-night pick-up. In short, Brenda is a simply insatiable little fuck-hole, almost to the the point of being avant-garde. On the plane, in the car, at home, by herself, there is no limit to the sex drive for this ball of pure fuck-energy. When unable to achieve complete satisfaction on her own, she fantasizes about her little sister getting the high hard one and so on and so on. For her husband Chris, you might think he’s hit the lottery. But just like a lot of folks that hit the lottery, having too much of something, even if it’s good, is likely to someday bring complete and utter demise. Sure, Chris enjoys getting laid, and getting to screw an 18 year old with the Mrs’ permission will be a great post next time he’s on 4chan…but this is killing him inside. Chris is just a man, flesh and bone, a man not even of this universe. There’s no way this story is occurring the universe we understand to live in ourselves. Mr. Rubin, whether he knows it or not, is writing a brilliant piece of science fiction.
Imagine something like this happening to someone like you. You’re just a regular guy, your regular healthy appetites help you with your regular relationships in your regular life. Now imagine yourself sucked into a wormhole, you are transported to a world almost unmistakable to our own, with one exception. In this world, themes and ideas from pornography are the universally accepted norms. On one hand, this comes across as a utopia. The pipes in your home would never break, the cable would never go out. The only reason to summon these people, would be to satisfy your sexual whims. Every cheerleader, nurse, parking attendant, and Wal-Mart greeter would exist only for personal pleasure, whether you liked it or not. Now imagine Chris. In our world he’d be a happily married man, with a good looking wife, and stable friendships to build a life around. In this unfortunate sex-scape, Chris is but a victim, saddled with what could only be described in this world as a pathetic excuse for a sex drive. Chris is bogged down by emotions that would only be helpful in his previous reality. He’s sometimes distraught about sleeping with someone that’s not his wife, and has guilts and anxieties not displayed by the story’s women. While reading, this presents itself as a role reversal from what we might be used to. The man is a seemingly caring, emotionally supportive person, while his wife and sister in law go to pieces when something might upset their tightly planned sex schedule. Sure, he tries his best, but after screwing his wife for the 3rd time today? Well, that needy little sister in-law isn’t going to fuck herself! (actually yeah, she probably did several times already, but now she needs you).
Rating: A Delightful New Year, despite it’s surrealistic exceptions of sexual intercourse, shoots some fresh life into an otherwise tired theme of quasi-WIN-cest across a horny suburban mid-western family. Rich Rubin should be an author on your radar if you’re looking to take a walk into the breadth of the anxious, absurd, and sometimes hilarious antics of a regular man dealing with an irregular experience.
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