G’day, y’all! This combination of these colloquial phrases from Australia and the Southern US, respectively, reflects the meeting of artist and critic in today’s Vault piece. I guess Maryland’s “Southern-ness” is up for some debate, but that’s neither here nor there. During a promotional period, I was able to secure a free copy of Britni Pepper’s Coding by Candlelight which features cover art that seems equal parts sensual and mildly painful. That being said, let’s take a look at how some computer geeks get their freak on, south of the Equator.
Our story is set in a remote rural campground a couple hours out of Melbourne, Australia (just in case you confused it with Melbourne, Florida). It’s Easter weekend, and rather than spend time eating an amount of candy that will likely induce diabeetus, or spending time with their families, a couple dozen young boys and girls flock to a camp focused on computer coding. Our main character, Clooney, is a multiple-year veteran of this camp, and widely regarded as one of the best programmers in attendance. The other two characters of note are: Erin, one of Clooney’s peers, and Mrs. Ms. Parvati, their teacher/mentor at camp. Erin is a pretty, sweet, but is otherwise unexceptional in terms of her appearance. However, Ms. P (as Jimmie Walker on Good Times would put it), is DYN-O-MITE!
She’s curvaceous, big-breasted, just an absolute stunner from the Indian subcontinent. It is obvious that Clooney has interests in both women, although the motives behind those interests seem a little different. Fortunately, he isn’t forced to chose his love interest in the beginning. Erin is still under the waning effects of Aunt Flo’s monthly visit, and while a greater man would relish at the opportunity to earn his Red Badge of Courage, Erin clearly wishes to wait; and remember guys: Consent. Is. Sexy! So Clooney goes for the more mature, experienced lover in Ms. P. In many ways, she opens his eyes to the importance of taking the time to please and provide a little TLC to his sexual partners. Over the course of the story, he transitions from the “I just wanna fuck ’n’ cum” mindset that is typical for 18 to 65 year old males, to a more compassionate and romantic lovemaker.
In many ways, this entire book is a series of tutorials on a few diverse topics, culminating in a romantically and sexually satisfying conclusion. You read almost a petabyte’s worth of computer jargon, and get a step-by-step instruction on how to perform a full body massage. Most importantly, Ms. P gives Clooney a deep dive into the layout and functions of her female anatomy. Honestly, if you added a few well-labeled diagrams, that entire passage should be mandatory reading in all Sex Ed classes, and then maybe more men could manage to find the fucking clitoris! For today, I’m going to skirt by the potential ethical and legal questions that would arise from such a relationship IRL, because this is the Internet; the real world doesn’t exist!
All put together, you can tell a bunch of time and research went into adding depth to this story. Sure, the basis of the antics of a few horny teenagers and their teachers in a secluded camp has all of the necessary pieces on their own to be a fine piece of erotica, but the depth in the non-sexual parts rounds out the story. In regard to those sexual moments, there is a ton of foreplay and build-up to the climaxes. It’s the kind of thing you could really “play along” with, if you catch my drift. This is a part of Pepper’s self-proclaimed style of One Handed ReadingTM. So if you didn’t catch my euphemism, you should definitely get it now that I’ve spelled it out for you.
I will say that this style, in this particular piece, likely works better with female audiences. A pinch more of imagery or sensations that appeal to male readers would probably send Coding by Candlelight over the top. Either way, go out and get a copy, light up a few candles, and curl up with your Kindle and enjoy this book today!
*Use of both hands is not required*
All thoughts and opinions contained in review are strictly of the writers of TehBen.com.
Author’s Website: britnipepper.com
Author’s Twitter: @britnipepper
Purchase Link: Amazon
TEHBEN.COM 
Crikey, Nelson! I *was* aiming at male readers! Fair dinkum, I couldn’t fit more wiggling and jiggling pink bits into the story if I tried.
Well done, mate. Not often that the review is better than the thing, but you’ve done it here. I’m just gunna cut it out of the internet and frame it, and sunburn meself in yer reflected glory.
Ah, anyone want to rub me up down under with sunscreen? Or anything, really.
Britni, not prone to argue
Thanks Britni, you just made Nelson’s day with that!