While out grocery shopping this weekend, I accidentally walked down the soda aisle and was instantly hypnotized by the endless rows of brightly colored corn syrup concoctions calling out to me, like a sailor to the sea. I gazed in sheer wonderment of all these appetizing drinks with a smile on my face but also with a heavy heart. Soon I will be completely cutting off my sugar supply in a last-ditch attempt to get my beach bod back in time for summer and possible reunion tour. As I lovingly perused the 240 oz. bottles of generic root beer, Shasta and Faygo, something new and exciting happened to catch my eye quicker than that time I saw a Juggalo balancing his checkbook. It was a massive center display, covered in cases and two liter bottles of an entirely new soda! It was peculiar, because it was an all-out marketing blitz from Canada Dry, only known as the makers of the finest ales crafted of ginger. Ginger ale flexing this hard is something I can genuinely say I’ve never really seen before in all my years of drinking carbonated corn syrup. It’s also the first center display I’ve ever seen that didn’t beg me to destroy it, as displays like this that narrow down an aisle to two feet wide normally makes my blood boil.
These new ginger ale mixtures were flaunting not one, but two new flavors, and these were “orangeade” and “lemonade” blends. I am not sure why they chose to go with “ade” versions of basic citrus, as lemon and orange could be replicated just fine with a few drops of artificial flavor like a normal soda. I definitely had my curiosity piqued by the orange version, and had positively no desire to taste the lemon one, there’s already too much lemon flavored crap out there. Instead of taking a risk, and buying a twelve pack of gross that would possibly just end up collecting dust next to forgotten cases of Mountain Dew Merry Mash-Up or Ruby Red Squirt, I opted to only purchase a single two liter bottle for review purposes. It’s seems like whenever I am too overly cautious, I actually end up being foolish. It turns out that the orangeade flavor is really hard to come by, and I’ve only seen it in one store! Get yours NOW (and please send us that check soon, Canada Dry).
The color of this soda is a light, pleasant mildly cloudy peach hue that is reminiscent of a shade somewhere between Southern Comfort on the rocks and the results of a medium-intensity bladder infection. It is incredibly bubbly and carbonated, as pouring it into a glass led to repeated spillage as the foam billowed over the lip, so this soda is handy since it can be used as a makeshift a science fair volcano display on the fly. I’m pretty sure the amount of carbon dioxide trapped inside this soda is wholly responsible for all that climate change, so drinking this will actually make you feel a little guilty. The intense amount of bubbles keep this drink light and dry instead of being sweet and syrupy.
FUN FACT: Canada Dry with Orangeade can actually qualify as a health drink, since this soda is made with 1% real juice, which is still more than three times as much as what’s actually used in Juicy Juice. There are 36 grams of sugar in a can, which is ten less than what’s packed inside our good friend, Mountain Dew. There’s absolutely no caffeine in Canada Dry with Orangeade, so this soda is really lousy fuel for all those night Fortnight battles and Carlton dances.
The taste: This is where this soda really exceeded all my expectations, as I just assumed it was just going to just taste like really watered-down orange juice. The flavor is a perfect middle ground between the ghostly flavor of an orange New York Seltzer and one of those super tart orange Sanpellengrino sodas. The ginger flavor base takes a seat all the way back in the third row, as it is only faintly detectable in comparison to the orange zest flaunting all of it’s shit all over the main stage. The balance of flavors with the extreme level of carbonation makes for an extremely refreshing soda. I’m glad this was good, since I mistakenly bought a LOT of Canada Dry Blackberry Ginger Ale a few months ago. I love blackberries and assumed it was going to be great, but it mostly just tasted like a combination of topical fungal medication and insect spray. I’m selling the rest of my leftover cans of this trash on eBay.
And now, it’s time to answer the most important question….will it mix? I drank most of my two liter with breakfast Saturday morning, but I left just enough in the bottle to make a single mixed drink in the evening, blended with the official vodka of tehben.com: Ketel One Grapefruit and Rose. Let’s just say this cocktail is extremely dangerous, and before mixing one or fourteen of these up, make sure you have a contingency plan and set of safe words in place. It’s a sweet, light, and refreshing version of a screwdriver that doesn’t suck ass. It also packs a pretty decent punch to boot!
Floridian Unicorn Recipe:
1 part Ketel One Rose Grapefruit vodka, 2 parts Canada Dry Ginger Ale with Orangeade. Combine together, stir and serve on ice. Garnish with curled orange peel (or candy).